Well, hello there, Fatty!

Today, there is a “Lifestyle and Wellness Expo” at our local mall. I decided to go check it out, because what better place to find some nutritional resources, right?

Not so much.

It was just a great big gathering of $2000 get-skinny-fast-without-doing-anything scams, and some Zumba.

The YMCA had a table there, too. I’d seen online that they offer nutrition coaching, and stopped, thinking they might be an ideal resource for me. A friend, of mine is a member and her monthly fees are significantly less than an individual consultation with a RD. as I got up to the table, before I even opened my mouth to speak, the representative looked right at me, smiled and said

“Hey! Are you looking to lose a few pounds and tone up?”

I left immediately, and have been crying in my car for the past 20 minutes.



7 thoughts on “Well, hello there, Fatty!

    • Thank you!!!
      I am so moved by all of the kind and supportive people this blog is bringing into my life! It is really powerful and wonderful!
      I am so thankful our paths have crossed!

  1. I’m sure that YMCA rep says exactly the same thing to every person who approaches the table, and probably only because it’s rare that people would approach with a goal of adding a few reasonable pounds of well toned muscle. If you’re still keen to find out about their nutrition coaching, you’re probably better off just heading down to your local YMCA and asking them directly about the stuff you’re really interested in, and as hard as it may seem, simply ignore any well intentioned yet thoughtless remarks that may be made.

    In other words, focus on YOU and your GOALS, and let everyone else think whatever they want to think, because it’s YOUR body and your HEALTH for only you and your doctor to be concerned with, and nobody else has a right to judge… although you’ll find that the assumption of judgement comes more often from your perceptions of others rather than from the others themselves.


    • It’s extremely confusing trying to understand “healthy” from my perspective. We have iPhone apps teaching us to eat like cavemen. We have Health Expos that never once address HEALTH, just skinny and beautiful. We assume that everyone who joins a gym wants to lose weight. We are never satisfied, and always crave more skinny and more beautiful for ourselves, and others. Mothers fixate on obesity with such intensity they never even notice as anorexia methodically winds BOTH of her children in an icy, destructive web. We make comments about those around us. We make judgements. We are judged, and subjected to the comments of others. We are driven, focused, over achievers- yes, I believe that EVERYONE excels at exactly what they set out to achieve, even if that is being lord and master of the basement bedroom at 40.

      I am focused. Determined. Driven.

      My current destination is “Healthy”, but no matter how hard I try, GPS just keeps saying “rerouting” “rerouting” “rerouting”… Because no one actually knows where HEALTHY is! Only “more skinny” and “more beautiful” and I was so freaking good at Skinny they kicked my ass out.

  2. I hear ya girl!! And you’re absolutely correct that it’s hard to define what healthy is supposed to be as opposed to what it actually is.

    Again sorry for the long comment. I’m hoping you’ll find this all supportive and encouraging, but if long commentary is becoming a problem and you’d still like the occasional message to help you keep up your spirits, I’ll be happy to switch this sort of thing over to a chat or an email or two (I’ve set up a contact pace on my blog for that purpose).

    I’d love to say just simply stick with the science, but the science is flawed in many ways. Doctors rely in Pondural Indexes and BMI’s to say what healthy weight is supposed to be, but this fails to take into account bone density, muscle definition, actual fat concentrations and genetics. Weight itself is rarely the issue anyway, as it just indicates a generalised body state without any real context, so I wouldn’t worry about weight, or the whole fat vs skinny issue.

    I can’t really tell you what healthy means for you, nor should I try to. I can only offer a view on what healthy means for me – and me only – and hope that you can see some parallels within yourself to help you define what healthy is for you. In my own case, I’ve looked at things I can directly observe, and things that are in science that I feel are good enough to trust.

    On the science side, there is a lot to learn from getting a series of blood tests done. Things like cholesterol & triglycerides, iron, vitamin concentrations, blood counts and so on, and whether there are specific toxins in “statistically abnormal” concentrations. This stuff can tell me more about how my internal organs and processes are functioning, and whether there is a dietary issue I need to address.

    For observations, I look for what we call athletic, meaning toned to suite the purpose of the life I wish to live, and not built to look like anyone else considered “athletic”. I’m not there yet, but I can say that I’ve progressed from a place where I’ve felt shortness of breath, weakness when I have tried to do simple body weight exercises, an inability to run slowly for 10 minutes without feeling very tired, difficulty standing for long periods, sleep problems, digestive problems, aches, muscle spasms, getting sick more than once per year, heart rate racing, shallow breathing, poor muscle tone (particularly in the core). These are all things where I have a basic expectation of myself, but without worrying about weight, or whether I have a “big” belly or a “fat” ass. My point is that if I have felt physically unable to do something I believe I SHOULD, then I call it a problem to address with regards to my health and conditioning. This is all less about science, and more about how strong I feel, and is the stuff that can’t be compared with anyone else, nor should it be. Sure I weigh myself on occasion, but I put it into the context of what I’m trying to achieve, which for me is more about ensuring I build muscle without drastically unexpected changes, rather than worrying about weight specifically. For me I want to see muscle clearly defined, without looking like an over-achiever in the gym.

    FWIW, my own internal GPS is also always re-routing, but that’s because I try not to simply stick to the paths that everyone else blindly follows, just because they say I should. I’m finding my own way as it makes sense for myself, trying to balance the science that I understand against the internal feelings that I understand less. In the last month, it is because I have clearly defined what I want for myself that I have been achieving it, and I only know it has been working because I feel better in myself both mentally and physically. I have more energy, more strength, and I feel like I am able to do more than I could before.

    So the question to put to yourself is “what does ‘healthy’ mean to you, from your own internal perspective?”, and only you can answer this question for you. Forget the expectations and judgements of the world around you, because people can rarely be objective about others when their expectations for themselves are often so unrealistic or out of context for others. So, set your goals based on your own health perceptions and on your own needs in terms of how you physically wish to feel. The journey then becomes all about how you learn to work towards living your goals.

  3. That YMCA rep was likely on autopilot like someone else said. He wasn’t paying a bit of attention of even giving his comments a second thought. You’ve gotten lots of great feedback here. I don’t think I have much to add except I wanted to say that guy was an idiot!

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