It’s Tuesday (ok, it’s kind of Wednesday, but I’m still on Tuesday time!), which means Check-In With The Therapist Day. We went over the notes from the PCP yesterday, she was happy with everything, especially the part where BMI was 20!!! I told her I filled my boots with paper clips, to make it that high. She laughed, and said we could just let it go for the week, and didn’t ask for a real number.
She knew immediately, that I’ve been eating less… Idk HOW, because my BMI is 20, right?! That’s more than normal! She said all people have vices, and that she 100% believes my slightly extreme obsession with hot yoga, will ultimately save my life. Therefore, I must consider my practice as medically mandated, and not skip or miss… Too bad my health insurance won’t cover “medically mandated” studio fees!
I usually don’t practice on Tuesdays, due to our family’s schedule and I use the time to digest out sessions. But tonight I swung by the house to let the dogs out, then headed down for a late class at the south studio.
… And had a shit practice! Sat out 2nd set- left side standing now, 1st set- both sides stick, 2nd set triangle, fell out of toe stand, drank all if my water, couldn’t stop shaking, couldn’t focus, couldn’t find my body against the Earth, or my eyes in the mirror. It flat out sucked. Sucked, due to energy crisis.
I hadn’t planned on practicing, so I hadn’t eaten much, and everything I did eat had all been consumed 10 hours before class started. But I figured out immediately upon leaving, what was wrong, and sorted out how to rectify the situation while driving home.
I stopped at Publix, to pick up a few things, then headed home to fix myself some dinner… Which was awesome, by the way.
Never underestimate the power of a hungry yogini… Even a tiny anorexic one. Our can opener had vanished, but I didn’t let that stop me from getting into my black beans!
My dinner involved TWO tortillas, cheese, guacamole, chocolate milk and TWO servings of Lipton passion fruit, mango green tea! After adding my ginormous dinner to my food diary, my net for today came to 177 (and was negative until I decided to drink the tea)! No wonder I had a crap practice!
I’m proud of myself for understanding right away that I needed food- something I couldn’t have done two months ago.
But I’m still really confused about how to be “normal”. My BMI is normal (sans paper clips and boots). I feel like a cow (yeah, I also know I’m wrong… I said “FEEL”), and when I sent this picture to a friend today, she said “still too tiny”…. I don’t understand!!!