I’m not gonna lie. I was afraid to go back to North today, after last night’s terrifying class. Through my baby-sitting I can practice at either of the owner’s studios. All day I agonized over it. My schedule worked out so I could take doubles at either location, or even one at each. North is closer, and my favorite overall, all around teacher was scheduled for both classes, but I really did not want to repeat last night’s yoga hell experience. Beaches is a pain in the butt to get to, but the climate is well managed and my sweet, gentle, Friday guy was teaching both classes. I knew Beaches would leave me with lots of yoga warm fuzzies and was extremely tempted. In the end, I forced myself to go to North with a yoga-type “if you fall off the horse…” mindset. I also made a deal with myself that if the 4:30 at North was bad again, I would go get some warm fuzzies from Beaches at 7:30.

I’m glad I did too! Whatever malfunction plagued our class last night was resolved this afternoon. I had two solid classes, nothing exceptional, but strong, consistent. Since it’s a new studio, nearly all of the students are new… It’s a little bit weird. And, I don’t much care for all of the attention being a long time regular seems to attract these days. I keep trying to hide in the corners, and the teachers keep implying I should move froward, for the new people to have someone to follow.

Maybe I will tomorrow *shrug*

I can’t get caught up food wise today. I’m getting pretty good at fueling up a single class… But two is really hard. I’m still short 2000 calories for today, and my net is extremely negative. I decided that I’m ok with these numbers for right now and am going to focus on rehydrating instead of stuffing myself with crap that I’m not hungry for. I think this is me, in control, making a decision for myself… But, it might be Anorexia too. She was not very nice to me during class tonight. I wonder if I will ever definitively know which is which…


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