So, I took a day for myself, and here’s what I learned:
I accidentally ended up at some Lady of Milk place downtown. I’d never been there.
When I arrived, I was sad. Really sad. But there were trees and water and butterflies, so I stayed to walk around a bit.
I walked and read all the trees and markers. I read about people died in the 1800s, in the 1900s, old people, babies, good people, nuns, murders, parents, sisters, brothers… Every human on earth experiences loss and every creature that lives, dies. This is a fact, a universal truth that transcends every country on every continent, every religion, race, gender. I’m not special. I am not isolated by my grief. When it comes to loss, i am exactly the same as every single person on the planet.
I started listing things actually are unique to my life:
* I am wearing flip flops.
* I don’t have to contend with snow.
* I live in a beautiful city that some folks save for years just to visit, but for now at least, it’s mine, in every moment.
* I fill my life with amazing, healing yoga
I am really surrounded by some amazing blessings.
All of the effort I’ve been putting into getting better, has helped me to have the tools and skills needed to deal with this devastating week, in ways that aren’t detrimental to myself for one thing. But… It’s also, just, healthy ways to deal with strong emotions. Something that is just as challenging for people without eating disorders. So, I see it as coming out ahead of the game.
I had great yoga doubles tonight!!!! And I’m totally bummed to learn that I am missing out on some Mary Jarvis awesomeness in town this weekend.