I met a girl named Teenie Yogini… She’s pretty cool

I 100% believe that the chiropractor’s little experiment on Wednesday was successful in altering the way I think about and interact with food.

I’ve spent the past 4 days shopping, cooking and relaxing. The grocery store was a non-issue. My weekly food challenge was finished all in 1 day. I cut up almost all of the veggies for my soup this week, made and ate food without crying ONCE! I conquered pizza and have not recorded a single meal or played with the scale once since getting adjusted. I’ve also been sleeping like a rock!

I feel like I just met myself. Everything is soooo new to me! There is soooooo much to experience. I am excited to try all of it!!!!

Yesterday, I made tons of stuff!!!

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These are little grab and go polenta cakes. I cooked the polenta, poured it into the jumbo size cupcake tray, let it set a little, then used the back of a spoon to shape it up the sides and hollow out the middle some. The hollow part is filled with salsa, refried beans and cheese. I made a little cap, with more polenta, so they don’t spill, then stuck some jalapeƱo string cheese in the top to be cute.

I used the rest of the beans to pre make and freeze a bunch of burritos.

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I also did Nutella and pesto polenta cakes. The Nutella ones were delicious, but they came out really soft and messy. Next time I will make them in mini jello molds or something, so they can just stay in individual containers.

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I made soup.

I cut up almost all of the veggies myself! I only used frozen cauliflower, and pre cut carrots and onions. I reallllllly don’t like touching those!

Tiny orange tomatoes are the sweetest most wonderful thing ever!!!Try them some time, k?

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I put the soup in mason jars, it’s SO cute!!!!

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I pre made some breakfast smoothies. The small jars have oats in the bottom (to prevent sticking) strawberry and banana.

Next week the smoothies will go in the big jars because I just discovered I can screw those into the blender base!!! Sweetness!!

There are also some small jars of plain banana for ice cream making, and plain strawberries, because our refrigerator is only kind of working, and I didn’t want them to go bad.

Yesterday was challenging, in a lot of non-food or eating disorder ways that I feel it’s best not to blog about. I was surprised that when I finished, all I wanted to do was come home and cook. It was a relaxing way to unwind… Kind of like yoga, I just let my mind go, and trusted my body to do the work.

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I feel like The Very Hungary Caterpillar- Eat and eat and eat and eat, and grow… And come out better in the end.

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What just happened???

It’s Easter Sunday, and I just got out of bed to go collect some new menus, and buy myself Easter candy.

Strange. The obsessive menu hoarding part of my mind would never EVER allow for candy consumption… Even on Easter!

Did we just take disordered into a whole new realm of screwed up? Or is it possible that a normal, appropriately, balanced Teenie Yogini just happens to really like take out menus AND candy???

I don’t know what to make of this!!! Yikes!

This. Is. HUGE!!!!

If you know me at all, or have been reading my blog for any amount if time, then you probably know that my #1 freakout food is pizza…

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^^ THAT ^^ is in my tummy right now!!!!

And I’m pretty sure The Universe just handed me an angel… 4 of them, actually!!

The universe has many gifts to bestow, just open your hands!

Happy Spine, Happy Life

I managed to get an emergency appointment with the chiropractor today.

And last night, while I was so busy not sleeping from the pain… I scoured Craigslist for any possible, affordable, marginally safe alternative to my current living situation. Two wrote me back today; one is a girl who in her add described herself as a yoga loving, raw/organic foodie, wholistic life coach… But, idk, weird vibe.

The second one, I realized after the fact, is at the extreme southern edge of our county, where I currently live ON the northern most border… But so far, he and I seem to have clicked. We’ve been texting for hours. Our priorities, personalities, perspectives and lifestyles seem to be naturally aligned. We are meeting tomorrow after practice, and if it still seems right, I will gladly take a 55min commute over my current, toxic situation. “Cross your arms and twist like ropes” that he’s not some sort of cyber freak in person.

The chiro was interesting, to say the least. She delivered an outstanding performance, provided all functions one would expect to receive from a chiropractic professional. She listened to what I had to say and responded appropriately. She seemed surprised that I could point out exactly places that were malaligned. I even showed her 3 that she hadn’t noticed herself… I spend A LOT of time staring at myself in the mirror!

She asked why I hadn’t mentioned my ribs. “Ribs, huh? Those are fine.” I say, as she proceeded to put them all back where they belonged. It made me feel all cool and Esak/Jedi Fight Club/Backbending-y.

Her Front Desk Agent (is that PC?) asked me, not once, but TWICE, if I was anorexic. I just kind of shrugged and confirmed. Then looked down just to check, I mean it’s true, I was in A LOT of pain when I woke up and didn’t pay much mind to my outfit… But I was still fairly certain I’d left my “I’m with ED” and “Ana’s Bitch” T-shirts home this morning.

When the chiro came in she said she wanted to do a little “experiment” and move my C2 just for fun, which she did. Then weighed me, backwards- did not let me look! And wants to see me again on Monday.

I was RAVENOUS by the time I made it home! I made polenta with salsa and queso cheese. It was my first time ever having or making polenta!!! I did look to see how much a serving was, but didn’t even think to read the rest of the label, or check how many calories. I didn’t write anything down either. I’m now in bed with the lights off, comfortable, relaxed, experiencing no panic or terror over the incomplete log entry. I also JUST realized, I didn’t cry when I was finished. I just ate it. Enjoyed it. Cleaned up, and got on with my night…

… Do you think it possible, that perhaps… She adjusted that stupid eating disorder right out of me?

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Salsa polenta is yummy!

Doubles Fail

I didn’t stay for doubles today. My hips hurt sooooo much.

I ate enough and considered pushing it. But started having lots of creepy crawlies on my arms and shins, which usually means something is pressing on someplace it shouldn’t be somewhere in my spine. By the end of class, my fingers and toes were completely numb.

I knew I needed to get realigned as soon as possible. But, first I had to stop for gas. As soon as I stood up, the muscles around my shoulders started fluttering- not exactly painful, just annoying.

The roommate texted to ask something, I told her I was only taking one class and needed to get on the inversion table right away…

… To which she informed me, that she’d taken it apart, and I could find all the pieces in various places around the garage. I found all of the parts, and carried each one in by myself. Now, this is not a small, or light contraption, and I am in a lot of pain and not very big. I use my head, shoulders, knees, the door frame, wall, counter, every little bit of leverage I can find to wrestle the thing together, fall down 75683 times in the process, finally get everything all lined up, go to slide the locks closed… Only to find that they are now bent and won’t click in!

I burst into tears, abandon the pieces on the bathroom floor and crawl into bed, without even changing from my soaking wet practice clothes. Physically, I am spent. This is the absolute limit. I’ve got nothing left. My hips and spine are revolting and I’m all curled up in a hysterical, snotty ball of intense muscle spasms.

I am angry!!!