Odds are

Odds are, if I have your number, and you text, we aren’t speaking right now.

Odds are, if you can breathe, I can piss you off.

I obsess.

I hoard take-out menus.

I cry.

I ask stupid questions.

I need lots of reassurance.

I get extremely upset over the most ridiculous and minuscule things.

I hate Saturdays.

I am not antagonistic on purpose (usually).

I don’t understand.

I don’t have the words. I write and write and write in search of the right ones.

Please forgive me.

I’m just as frustrated as you are.

I’m trying.

I promise.


4 thoughts on “Odds are

  1. This post really resonates with me. I’ve been there, and sometimes it seems I return there. So here’s the dirty little secret that nobody seems to share… most people you know probably feel the same way too, only they are better at hiding it and channelling their energies elsewhere so that things seem to faze them less.

    Recognising these things about yourself is more than half the battle to overcoming them, and every step on your journey forward from there – while hard at first – gets easier and more rewarding over time.

    Just remember that you’re surrounded by people who understand how hard it is for you sometimes, who love you, and who support your efforts to walk your journey, even though they might not always be so good at showing you this.

    Personally, I’m betting on a day coming in the not so distant future where you no longer feel compelled to cry out of frustration, and where the little things no longer seem to affect you so badly.

    I believe in you, and I know that you have it within you to believe in you too.

    • I have a really hard time right after I eat dinner. Last night was extra trying, because I skipped dinner every night last week, then didn’t practice or workout all day.

      It helps if I can find a friend to talk to for a little while right after. It doesn’t have to be about the fact that I’m probably hysterical over something inocuous… Just attention, distraction, comradery for a half hour or so while I get over the fact that I had to eat dinner yet again.

      I wonder if I could put a sign up sheet on FB. Lol.

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