Tonight. Was. Excellent!
Not, in and way extreme, in the room or my body. It wasn’t super hot or humid, but those things weren’t missing either. I did nothing stellar, just good, solid, middle of the road practice.
I woke up early and cooked a huge, awesome breakfast today!
I could have, but chose not to, remedy the blue lunch fiasco. Because, I’m a losers like that.
I considered snacking on applesauce about 2 hours before practice… But again, didn’t.
I’m in the parking lot at work now, basking in some post yoga bliss before getting back to business.
We work with this lady… She doesn’t work for the company, just does business with us frequently, and always brings food when she comes. She knows all of us by name and is just a sweetheart.
Today she popped in and dropped off food… Without conducting any meetings. She was mega excited and ran around to everyone “I brought turnovers! I brought turnovers! I brought 22 turnovers! They are all different flavors!!” She skipped me. Of course. Would I have eaten a turnover? Not a chance. But I hate being left out all the time, and I’m working really hard to be different. It makes me feel like the opportunity to say “yes” is lost forever, and even if *I* can change, the expectation to be “that girl who doesn’t eat” will remain.
Anyhow, while I was lamenting the turnover exclusion, the woman returned to my desk. “I brought you apples. Aren’t you proud? Something healthy? I brought healthy apples. They are apple slices. In a package. No one touched them. Do you want some apples. They are sliced. In a package.”
… *sigh* she tried.
But she made it “a thing” so I couldn’t say yes. I felt just as alienated as I did while being passed over for turnovers and wanted to disappear.
Logically. I can see the effort she put in. I know it was sweet, and well intended, and I should have just said “thank you” taken the apples.
It’s no wonder really that people think I’m a bitch.