I’m having an MV crisis

Well… Today didn’t exactly go as planed, and I very much despise unpredictability, chaos and general lack or loss of control.

At 2am the boy from my group decided to answer my e-mail. He had gotten my message, at 5, but was at work until 9, and then went to the gym until 2am. 9p-2a? He might need to re-evaluate his training plan. That’s not really any of my business though, is it. At 2:30 this morning, he was kind enough to let me know he hadn’t read any of the work I sent 2 weeks ago, he didn’t have an opinion about anything, and maybe I should just make a PowerPoint, to go with my outline since it seems no one else intends to contribute to the project.

I was pissed.

Of course, I pulled out my laptop and sat up all night making a PowerPoint, then went to school as soon as the library opened to print and use the internet to finish. No sooner had I sat down and started working than I was being poked by the janitor “I just cleaned that chair! Get your feet off of it!” I immediately rearranged my legs so neither shoe was touching the chair. Two minutes later she was back to poking me “I said, I just cleaned that chair. MOVE!” I again, moved so both feet were clearly NOT touching the chair. Five minutes later, she walked past and snarled “lady! What’s your problem!? You gonna clean that?” I said “sure”. She disappeared, and I pulled my knees back up against my chest. In my mind we had come to an amicable agreement she’s leave me to get my work done and I’d clean the chair when I was done. It’s great we have a custodial staff so passionate about maintaining clean chairs, and I’m more than happy to tidy up after myself. Apparently, agreeing to clean the chair was interpreted as “bitchy and defiant” and soon enough some man is poking me “ma’am, did that lady tell you TWICE that she just cleaned this chair?” I said “yes, then I assured her I’d clean it before leaving. I don’t mind at all, it just my feet don’t reach the floor and it hurts my spine to let them dangle.” So he said “lady, I don’t really care, get your damn feet out of that chair, and quit being rude!” I had to finish. So I cried in pain as I worked for another two hours with my feet hanging, soiling neither chair nor floor.

In class, the group presenting wasn’t ready. So, instead of saying “sorry folks” she pushed every group back a day so they can present next class.

Which lead directly to the predicament of what to do during this class! It’s ok, she has a movie, she usually shows it later but we’ll just do that today.

The first 2 minutes were hilarious. It opened with some dudes eating pasta as a narrator introduced a tale that was wonderfully cartoonish, “It was spring time in Venice and the turtles were getting ready with the princesses and maidens at the basketball cinema….” I couldn’t stop laughing, no one else seemed nearly as amused by the turtles and maidens… Turns out, the captions didn’t match.

It was actually a movie about a guy with anorexia, and it kept saying “fat! Fat! Fat! Fat! Fat! Fat! Fat! Fatfatfatfat!” Seemed like an ideal time to freakout, none too discretely I reckon because suddenly I realize that the teacher is watching me, watch this stupid movie and she’s crying! Which logically made me cry. Then, she, in turn, cried more.

Just as I’m starting to think this couldn’t possibly get any more traumatic… Our dude dove full force into the most horrifying, boxer clad, never ending binge!

Thus, Catapulting all the little demons in my mind into a wild frenzy!

Look at all that fat! Look how he’s lost control! He’s so gross! That’s so gross! Humans are disgusting creatures! YOU are so gross! YOU are fat and gross and out of control, just like him! YOU need to fix this! YOU need to get YOURSELF under control! Why are YOU so horrible!? Go now! Go purge in the big bathroom like all of those other girls! YOU need to be more like them, they are in control!

I guzzled my entire water bottle so I could leave the room on the pretense of refilling… But just as I got to the bottom

The teacher decided it would be a great time to hold hands.


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