The weather has been so amazing. Work, school, health, everything is happening the way it’s supposed to. Overall, I am content, and it’s wonderful.
But tonight, I went to bed angry. Very angry.
I have a friend who likes to text me for help with her ASL homework… Which is fine, I don’t mind helping. It’s just she waits until the last minute, then gets mad if I can’t drop everything to help. Last week it was midnight when she asked. I was awake, and told her I was just finishing something up, I’d be able to help her in 10 minutes…. And she blasted me because she wanted to go to bed. Believe me, I was tired too, but I would have stayed up to help her.
I went to deaf coffee with her, and she yelled at me “use your voice! Geez! What’s wrong with you!?” She also got mad because I refused to interpret for her. Nope. Sorry. Your teacher does not assign those Deaf Culture projects for you to practice ventriloquism, practice signing.
She is full of excuses. “I didn’t learn that way when I was 5.” That’s because you learned your ABC’s when you were 5, fingerspelling is a communication CODE, ASL is a LANGUAGE. You need to expand your horizons. “I get really nervous.” Yes, andddd…. So does every other ASL student on the planet. You are not special. Just shut your mouth, and pick up your hands, that’s the only way you will improve. “I don’t use grammatical facial expressions. It’s too hard.” Ok. But no one is going to want to talk to you, and you probably won’t do very well on your test.
She gets furious when I correct her… I’m sorry, didn’t you just ask me for help???? I can assure you, I am not mean about it. She doesn’t apply my suggestions anyway, then gets upset with me when her grades are lousy.
Tonight, I had plans to relax. Yes, that’s nothing major, I know. However, I schedule downtime on my calendar, because otherwise I don’t do it. I look forward to those times, and it helps me deal with whatever else is happening. I can say “alright, this kid is really cranky right now, but tonight I will have soup for dinner, do one load of laundry, make a small craft and go to bed early.” I got as far as the soup, when she asked for help at 9pm. She didn’t want to come meet me because she needed to start laundry, and didn’t feel like putting jeans on. Nevermind that I’d been counting down the minutes until I could change clothes and start laundry. So, I went to her house. She handed me the directions for the assignment… It was a HUGE project. She proudly told me that it was assigned three weeks ago, and hadn’t even looked at it!
Look, I understand needing help. I realized I was going to need support with some of the food assignments in my personal wellness class… So requested the details early, worked through the whole thing on my own, then sent the sections I wasn’t sure of with my answers to DB, and let her know that the due date was a month out, so no pressure to rush. I didn’t ask her to do it for me, and I didn’t create chaos in her life.
I don’t think it’s fair for this girl to keep interfering with my tranquility because she doesn’t seem to have any of her own.
It is also kind of a yucky feeling when someone only cares about you when they need you. The rest of the time she ignores or makes fun of me.
I don’t mind helping. And I accept that we are all at different places, she is doing the best she can. I just wish we could conduct ourselves with a bit more courtesy.