Incredible week!

This week has been amazing!
TONS of fabulous yoga, great kids at sailing camp, college admissions meeting, and a really fantastic discussion with the rabbi!

Our local yoga champ went off to Teacher Training, and came back this week! She’s not only an amazing yogi and a friend to everyone she meets… She also SIGNS! Really well! Not like 10 or 20 signs, but totally fluent with a masters degree in deaf education. She taught her first class Wednesday morning and I was there! She didn’t sign the dialogue, that would be super distracting, but it was really really cool having her up on the podium.

Wednesday night, I went back to yoga for my first doubles since my loooooooong yoga break! It was also a stellar class! The teacher for some reason taught mostly from the back of the room, instead of the podium. So I had to keep turning around to see her. At some point, I realized the woman practicing beside me was becoming uncomfortable, she thought I was staring at her. Well, I didn’t really mind that she happened to be in my line of vision, she has an INCREDIBLE practice! But I wasn’t turning around to watch her either. When she caught my eye again for looking at her, I apologized quickly and said I wasn’t staring at her!

Turns out she’s a new teacher! I took her class tonight, and not only is her yoga amazing, her class was kickass too! I apologized again for yesterday, and explained that I was trying to see the teacher, not ogle at her yoga. She was very nice about it.

Sailing camp was so much fun! She isn’t having any volunteers come out next week, because there are only 6 kids signed up. But she said she really wants me to come back for the whole and is going to talk to the commodore about it. Last week 3 of my 6 signed up for more sessions, this week 4 of my 5 added more sessions and the 5th wanted to come back… but we decided not to make that an option, for safety reasons. This week our kids were so excited about sailing, they never even wanted to swim, eat lunch, or play on the playground. Yesterday and today, we got to do some racing with them, and it was a blast!

I might have found a way to combine all of the things I am most passionate about as a means of income beginning in the near future! It will take some work to get going, and I’m still in search of some kind of work until then, and possibly to supplement afterwards too.

I just feel super happy, about everything happening right now.

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ONE JOB

Working with kids is fun because they are full of surprises.

We had our kids capsize the 420s today.

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(Not my picture.)

Before putting them in the boat, we practiced, over, and over, and over on the dock. We had them line up like they were sitting in the boat and told each one their job. We have one super tiny guy, he’s half the size of our other kids, but very serious and generally quick to follow directions.

Our little dude was in the bow. His job was to release the jib lines immediately.

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That smaller sail is the jib.

If you don’t release the jib lines, the boat sails away as soon as it’s upright again.

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Guess what!

I dove off the dock to release the lines and bring the boat back to the stunned children that it had sailed away from.

Once we got them back in, I reminded the tiny guy that his job was to release the jib lines (Remember, we had already acted this out several times on the dock).

He looked at at me with these big sweet eyes and said “I didn’t know that!”

Whaddaya do, but laugh, right?

Anything worth doing…

Is worth doing now.
~The Rebbe

The timing of everything in my life at this moment is amazing.

Sailing camp filled me with a familiar, old sense of passion and excitement. My encounter with Joel, introduced me to his twin sister, with CP, who I immediately suggested should also participate. Her appearance along with the deaf student coming next month shown a small glimmer on my seemingly impossible desire to teach sailing (any activity) to special needs children (or adults), especially deaf ones.

Unconditional acceptance to the education program nullified the ever increasing fear that I would never be given the chance to finish my degree.

I was freed from a job that did not inspire me.

And I am reading this amazing book.

Hmmmm. Accident? I’ll choose to believe otherwise.

I first sent an email to my local rabbi, lamenting that I am once again without a job. And fear that my image gifts are contrary to authentic Jewish living. Sailing, swimming, and yoga are certainly far from modest, and religious families do not own domestic pets. Sports and dogs are what I do best, clearly I am a defective Jew.

I clicked send and began to mull over all of the poor choices and missed opportunities in my life. That job I interviewed for last winter would have been perfect. I once again felt the sting of being passed over for the position. Then thought, the rabbi at that shul had said it was kind of a packaged program, he wasn’t implementing it from scratch. Perhaps another location was in need of the same position? I checked the website.

Turns out the program is owned by Chabad… Which is interesting, because the shul I visited was not a Chabad House. It also wasn’t listed as one of the locations for Florida. And all of the locations listed were several hours away.

So I got to thinking, instead of chasing around this perfect job in imperfect locations, why not just creat this job for myself here, in my own, under served, community.

Immediately, I composed a second email to the local rabbi. In it I pointed out the clear need for a program like that one in our area. As well as how all of my seemingly contradictory attributes fit seamlessly with the leadership of such a program, and asked what it would take to bring it to our area.

I mean, he can only say “no” right? Then what? It’s not as if I’d be any more or less jobless than I am right now.

Also, as I was hitting send, the director of the sailing camp emailed to let me know the deaf camper who was originally registered for one week in July had just signed up for this coming week as well.

When we spoke over the weekend, she had mentioned seeing if the club had the budget to pay me for the week he was attending, which leaves a small glimmer of hope that she might extend that possibility to this week as well. We’ll see.

But I’m not going to NOT go. I don’t know what I’m going to do to take care of Avery and myself. I just know I need to pursue this opportunity.

Someone be Excited With Me

I have written many times here of my great love for the Lubavitcher Rebbe. One of his most extraordinary attributes was his unfailing optimism.

This morning, not 5 minutes after receiving the text from the little girl’s mom, I took Avery out to potty, and collected my mail.

Just one letter.

I have been unconditionally admitted to the education program! This, I did not even think was a possibility. Due to timing, and misunderstanding how the test scores were reported, I was told that I MIGHT be admitted on academic probation, but I should very likely expect full denial to the program. Unconditional acceptance was not even on my radar!

Everyone I have told today has expressed sympathy for my job. Not one person has shared my excitement in this VERY BIG step.

Not a single person has been willing to look at this this moment with optimism. I no longer have a job that I didn’t love to begin with, and am officially on my way to a real degree, to eventually land a real job, and maybe, finally have real security.

I want to look at this like The Rebbe. Doesn’t anyone want to be optimistic with me?

Panic

I feel like there has to be a plan.
I turned down the camp job, that I really wanted, in order to provide stability for a family that I really don’t like, so their toddler would have consistency before their baby comes in September…. And they put her in day care.

I just used all of Avery’s savings and most of mine to fix her leg… Now I’m not even sure how I’m going to feed her.

I haven’t heard back from the school and they said I would two weeks from June 1st. Today is the 21st. That’s a week late. Registration for the fall semester is already open and I’m quickly losing hope that I was accepted to the program.

My car insurance just doubled starting this month, because my brother took his car back, and I have no income. I have 9 days to figure it out.

Everything just fell apart.

And I don’t know what I’m going to do.