I am angry

I’m mad. At every one, for everything today.

I was left out of a friend thing… Then got pictures. I’m hurt, and angry.

I have an eleven year old camper this week who is obsessed with weight, and has especially zeroed in on me. She was at camp three weeks ago and didn’t act like this. It was the week I wasn’t working, but I stopped by and met her one afternoon. She was so cool and I’ve been excited about her coming back and moving up to my group. But she is like a TOTALLY different kid this time. She can’t follow directions to save her life, has become completely uncoordinated, and says things like “I weigh too much to do that.” I get the majority of her weight commentary, but she’s done it to the other staff too.

I had a crying meltdown over ice cream cake during lunch, when the director kept telling me to “live a little.” I said I just really didn’t want it. I said I was vegan. I said no thank you. I said as many polite things as I could before I said “there is absolutely nothing you can do to convince me to eat that cake. I am vegan, and anorexic and I am NOT going to eat it!” The rest of lunch time at the staff table was silent and I didn’t eat anything at all.

We had a horrible afternoon on the water. Nothing worked. Our boats refused to stay in the same area so we could work on skills. They all sailed poorly. One boat capsized but no one in it had any idea why they went over. One boat snagged some guys fishing line and he was kind enough to teach my 8 year old a very colorful new vocabulary. One boat complained about everything we did. One kid got boom-ed really hard. Our powerboat stopped working on the water just as the wind died and we thought we were going to have to tow all of the boats in by paddling… But it came back on. We’ve gone all summer without sky-ing any halyards, then they did it TWICE today (and once yesterday)!

After camp, we had a staff meeting to discuss the massive amounts of chaos that happened today and the little girl. Now that my secret’s out of the bag, I’ve been elected to speak with her dad tomorrow morning.

I’m super nervous.

I’m tired and mad and feel like deflated bubble wrap after everyone has stomped on it and walked away.

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One thought on “I am angry

  1. Usually I need to get hit up’side the head before I’ll focus on what I’m supposed to learn. How about you, Teenie? And That Which Is doesn’t go to the trouble to tell us crap. When the cosmos want’s us to know something, it’s something important. Sorry I haven’t stopped by lately. Trying to get back in the groove. Peace.

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