I was telling my cousin, I think I’m better. Normal. In my mind, I don’t have an eating disorder.
I’m a healthy weight. In fact, I could even weigh less and be ok. Yesterday, I had a piece of pizza at work and you know, actually ate it. I’m pretty convinced I’m fine.
Except, I had nightmares about M&Ms after a young friend kept insisting I have some. I DESPISE M&Ms! Just touching them, makes me want to gag! I can’t stand the way they feel in my mouth and just thinking about it, makes my skin crawl. I don’t think normal people wake up crying in a pool of sweat over M&Ms.
I’m still positive I’m fine though.
But today, the 2 year old found a measuring tape, so we measured our heads, hands, feet, toes, wrists, ankles. I kept getting excited; the circumference of the baby’s head is 19 inches, mine is 20. Just half an inch difference in our wrists. This was all exciting.
Then, we made muffins, and I accidentally let him color them blue… Because I don’t eat anything blue.
That’s fine though, not at all disordered.
My iPhone updated last night. Today, I hit “complete entry” in the calorie app… And it no longer shows projected weight in 5 weeks, if you eat less than X calories.
Holy mega meltdown.
I reckon “better” folks don’t do that, huh? Guess there’s still work to be done. *sigh*