Too Fast

This weekend happened too fast. It was my first full week back after the holidays, which is tiring, and now the weekend is gone and I haven’t even gotten a chance to unwind!

Friday, my friend was supposed to come up around 12:30 to visit. Then she wasn’t coming at all, then she was coming, but later, then we were going to meet one place, then she changed it, then I couldn’t find it… By the time I got there, I was falling apart. We aren’t able to get together very often, but I love seeing her when we do. I spent the entire time so extremely tense. When I got home, my hands were bleeding from scratching them with my nails. I cried in Starbucks and told her making decisions is too hard sometimes, when she asked what I wanted.

Saturday, I had to cover babysitting 9-10:30 for the other sitter last minute, and was also scheduled to volunteer at Regionals 25 minutes away at 10:30. Being late for anything stresses me out… A LOT. The teacher ran over by 20 minutes and I scratched up my arms worrying about being late and driving there.

I had to go to a job right after the competition and I was starving. I ran into Publix for sushi on my way. But when I sat down for dinner with the baby… She stole it all.

Today, I had to babysit again, but there were no kids. Then I met a friend to go work with a behavior dog. I love really screwed up dogs, it’s true. There aren’t many things I find more fun than training with a challenging dog. But it’s draining.

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After the dog, I had another job. It’s the most stressful one I have, and I dread going every week, but can’t seem to tell them no. I was so anxious in the car before I went in, my heart was racing, I could hardly breathe and I thought I was going to die.

The kids were reliably difficult, and the parents ran over by about an hour. When I left, ALLLLL I wanted to do was go home and sleep. But I had to run in to Publix and The Fresh Market (both on the way), as I was driving home, already dreaming of jammies and my bed… I remembered that my brother is coming up and I promised him we could go for late night pizza at Mellow.

He’s running late.

I’m so tired and not ready for a new week.

Hmmm.

Well, that was a lot of words to say…

I’m having a hard time eating.

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